I lost the cap to a soda bottle
Then you’re fucking stupid. If you can’t drink a soda without a cap, then you’re fucking stupid.
LISTEN HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT. I COULDN’T FIND THE CAP TO AN ALMOST FULL 2 LITER BOTTLE OF DIET COKE. I WASN’T ABOUT TO DRINK THE WHOLE GOD DAMN THING ON THE SPOT. I DONT EVEN LIKE DIET COKE THAT MUCH. IF I PUT IT IN THE FRIDGE IN THE BOTTLE IT WOULD HAVE GONE FLAT SO DONT FUCKING CALL ME STUPID I AM THE FUTURE
not sure why people don’t automatically say “shapeshifting” when asked what they want their superpower to be. you could become anyone you want. even fictional characters. anyone. cosplay would always be spot-on. dysphoria wouldn’t exist. perfection
rob a bank and disguise yourself as a stray pen lying on a shelf when the cops come
A pen with a shit ton of money lying next to it.
|horoscope:||you breathe on a daily basis|
|me:||omg that is so me how did they do that|
it’s weird how straight boys will find out that a girl is bisexual and then think that girl wants to fuck them with another girl. And if they find out a guy is gay they think that guy wants to fuck them.
No one wants to have sex with you. You are are not cute. At all.